It’s one thing to be messing with my head, my nose, my lungs, and my throat. I expect that with a cold.

I didn’t even say anything when you fucked up my ability to taste that Garnacha on the counter. And you know i like my wine!

But, see, when you start affecting my ability to be all husbandy to my milfy wife? We got problems.

The woman’s doing yoga again! She’s on the elliptical every night! She’s gonna look even hotter than she does now! (Which is pretty fuckin’ hot. I mean - the woman has the best legs EVER!)

So, yeah, I do not appreciate you and your microbes impinging on my sexytime. At all. I can’t have her running off with Sven the Yoga Guy.

So how about leaving my body so I can get back to ensuring she’ll stick around for the long term, huh? Couldja do that for a brother?

Fuckin’ cold.