I’m all IV’d and they haven’t taken away my iPhone, so here I am!

They’re super nice here - for people about to shove a camera up my ass and take pictures.

Yeah Rich - enjoy your 30s, man. Shit just starts falling apart once 40 comes and goes! Although, I don’t think routine colonoscopies kick in until 50 for most people. I get them because two of my dad’s siblings had colon cancer (and died from it), and because I’m black - 2 facts that put me at higher risk for it. So my doc wanted a baseline 6 years ago, and orders me to get one every 5 years. That same side of my family also is prone to heart issues. Genetics - she can be a bitch.

On the up side, I probably won’t die of ALS.

I really, really want a burger and a pizza right now.

Hi Meghan! *waving at you from up the street*

Damn! That nurse is hot! Hey, baby - wanna see my innards?