So, yeah, chilling in the waiting area of the gastrointestinal department of Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Center. Like a boss, ya know.

A boss who was up all night experiencing what can only be described as a river of liquid pouring from my nethers.

I haven’t eaten anything in over 36 hours. I’ve shat the equivalent of the Amazon river. Ironically, but not surprisingly, I feel like shit! Food: essential for energy and general well being! Who knew, right?

I can’t wait until this is over. Rachel has to come get me. I can’t drive or, apparently, make any major decisions for the rest of the day. Hopefully the Ones won’t choose this afternoon to ask me for a car.

You know those cartoons with a hungry wolf or coyote that sees everything as a cooked chicken or a steak? Yeah, thats me. I AM SO HUNGRY!

Okay - going in. Have on my ass-breezer gown and everything. See you on the other side!

Commence Operation Anal Probe!