First and motherfucking primarily, it’s because you are coughing like an arthritic bison walrus in heat every 26 goddamn seconds and NOT COVERING YOUR MOUTH while you do it. I mean , seriously - who does that?

But there are others.

- You are going to infect everyone within 10 rows of your walrus ass once they close that plane door. I hope by all that is good and holy that you are nowhere near me and my wife and my young daughters. Fuck you.
- You talk too fucking loudly. Especially when you get on your cell. Fuck you just for that alone.
- You let your kids/wards/pets run around like this was a playground. Fuck you.
- You’re wearing a tracksuit. A bright red tracksuit. Seriously - fuck you. A track suit?

For all of this, I hate you.