January 2012
115 posts
My Wife Can't Drive! Or, How I Learned To Take...
Okay - that’s not exactly true.
She can’t drive a stick shift. She can’t balance a clutch and change gears. She never learned how to, because she never had to. She learned to drive on an automatic, took her test on an automatic, and has only ever driven automatics. And so, I give her shit - often - about how she never learned how to drive, only to steer.
Back in the late...
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Life
soulsistrin:
Gary messaged me this morning to say that he had posted one of the pictures from our shoot that I had chosen. He wrote something really lovely underneath the first that brought me to tears (he tends to have that effect on me).
Several months ago I had to move out of my apartment because I was living with someone who did not respect my boundaries and insisted repeatedly that we...
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Wait, nuh...
You mean to tell me that he delivered a State of the Union speech while authorizing/coordinating a SEAL team strike in Somalia to rescue American hostages?
That’s just straight up gangsta.
Seriously - that’s some Marlo Stansfield / Stringer Bell shit.
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4:37pm
It occurs to me that a month ago, it was pitch black outside at this time. And now, it is not.
SUMMER IS COMING!*
*With all due respect to the Starks of Winterfell.
And So It Begins. Again.
This week, Semester 2 of ‘The Doctoring of The I’ begins. This will entail:
- A 3 essay test on 21 chapters of an organizational theory book that we had to read over the “break”
- The first class of, and homework assignment for, Quantitative Analysis II: The Regression Strikes Back
- A 3 hour review of a professor’s recent research
- A first yet thorough look at...
I Grow Tired: An Addendum
The issue is less with my Tumblr blog, and perhaps more with my website.
Anyone doing an online search for my name will find my website, which has nudes on it. As much as I’d love to adopt a “fuck ‘em!” attitude to all and sundry who might turn their noses up at my photography, I have to deal with the reality of more and more people finding my site as they take one of...
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I Grow Tired
The more nudes I shoot, the more I hear from or about people who can’t handle nudity.
It makes me frustrated. I genuinely like shooting human bodies because I think they are the best subjects. The more of that work I showcase, the more I get comments like the one I heard today: that my photography is “a distraction”. Apparently the fact that I shoot and post such images make...
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I am not a huge American football fan
But even I know that Vince Wilfork was that game’s MVP.
Besides Billy Cundiff. And that guy who couldn’t hold on to that touchdown pass with less than a minute to go.
Wilfaahk, son!
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Patriots!
Bloody hell.
(Cundiff for MVP!)
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A New England Blogger Does Doubles →
Sarah, a cook chef from Cambridge MA, is cooking her way through the world. She is cooking a dish from every country in the world, alphabetically. She and I share a mutual friend, who e-introduced us when she began this journey. She’s now almost through the T countries - and guess who she contacted for information about the very best of T countries!
When she asked me about the staple...
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Thoughts Going Through My Head As I Edit Images Of...
I should have dumped my clothes and brought back more El Dorado 15 Year Old rum.
Damn, Natasha is exquisite.
This rum is perfect for my current activity. Just perfect.
That I’m alone in the house helps. I like not having to play Chutes and Ladders while enjoying my El Dorado 15 Year Old rum. One needs to fucking reflect on this bitch.
Bloody hell, Natasha. Just…bloody hell.
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“To the children who loved Harry Potter, I want to say your enthusiasm was the...”
– Daniel Radcliffe, during his opening monologue, on Saturday Night Live. (Source: Entertainment Weekly.)
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Operation Anal Probe: LiveBlog, Stage Final
I’m out.
I’m really groggy, and want to nap.
I’m waiting for Rachel to come git me.
They found one polyp which will likely be benign. Same thing happened last time. So I’ll be back here in 5 years.
Been farting like a tugboat. With bass boost. They pump air up there while they’re taking their pictures - has to come out!
These people have been super nice!...
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Topics Discussed By The Nurses Right Outside My...
A 40% off sale at Ann Taylor Loft (“did you buy EVERYTHING?”).
Cirrhosis.
“How you look so sexay today? Is that a new outfit?”
Tarjay.
“Do you have sleep apnea?”
“Did you drink all 3 bottles of the magnesium citrate? Best cocktail in the world, huh?”
“sometimes, I put fresh garlic in it - makes a world of difference. I just put it...
Operation Anal Probe: LiveBlog, Stage 3.5
I’m all IV’d and they haven’t taken away my iPhone, so here I am!
They’re super nice here - for people about to shove a camera up my ass and take pictures.
Yeah Rich - enjoy your 30s, man. Shit just starts falling apart once 40 comes and goes! Although, I don’t think routine colonoscopies kick in until 50 for most people. I get them because two of my dad’s...
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Operation Anal Probe: LiveBlog, Stage 3
So, yeah, chilling in the waiting area of the gastrointestinal department of Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Center. Like a boss, ya know.
A boss who was up all night experiencing what can only be described as a river of liquid pouring from my nethers.
I haven’t eaten anything in over 36 hours. I’ve shat the equivalent of the Amazon river. Ironically, but not surprisingly, I feel...
“It’s a PhD, hon, not a GED.”
– My wife, on hearing me bitch about how I think this semester will be tougher than last semester.
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Operation Anal Probe: LiveBlog, Stage 2
Oh, damn. I guess magnesium citrate really does work.
Wow. I had forgotten what this felt like. It’s just as unpleasant as it was 6 years ago.
I have to wake up at 3am to drink the rest of that stuff. Because the night, it belongs to lovers.
What was that sound my innards just made? Sounded like a foghorn!
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Keri, Be My Savior
thekeri replied to your post: Operation Anal Probe: LiveBlog, Stage 1
Ironically, the food suggested to a colonoscopy prep is the same kind of diet recommended for IBD patients, who are already at a high risk of developing colon cancer. Weird, eh? Anyway, I’m a pro at all this shit. You want a hug?
YES! And a pizza. A very large pizza.
ronbailey asked: You were mentioning a few weeks back that you often worry about your family's security when you go back home. Have you found this trip to be any better or worse on that front? It's a beautiful place with beautiful people, for sure.
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Operation Anal Probe: LiveBlog, Stage 1
I was supposed to go on a “low residue” diet 3 days before this thing, which was Tuesday. But I was still in Trinidad, where the food is incredible, so fuck that, yeah?
Irony: preparation for a procedure designed to screen for colon cancer involves a diet that, if followed consistently, would likely give you colon cancer. A “low residue” diet includes a whole bunch of...
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Commence Operation Anal Probe
The only way to come back from 12 days in the Caribbean: a pure liquid diet today, laxatives all night, and a camera shoved up my ass first thing tomorrow.
Thanks, genes.
(Good thing I ate ALL THE THINGS in Trinidad.)
Just Plane Chillin
So they’ve loaded us onto this plane, and now we have to wait for a pilot and co-pilot to get here from anothe flight (the reason this one was delayed), and the girls are iPadding and so I figured is just do a stream of consciousness post.
We’ve been away for 12 days. Feels a lot longer. Sign of a good vacation.
Also a sign of a good vacation: photographing 2 gorgeous black women...
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Why I Hate You, Lady Waiting For The Same Delayed...
First and motherfucking primarily, it’s because you are coughing like an arthritic bison walrus in heat every 26 goddamn seconds and NOT COVERING YOUR MOUTH while you do it. I mean , seriously - who does that?
But there are others.
- You are going to infect everyone within 10 rows of your walrus ass once they close that plane door. I hope by all that is good and holy that you are...
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Books read. Lights off. Door closed.
Bedtime at a record early hour.
Because we? Have had it.
(Also, they’re exhausted.)
WatchThis will soon have to see me through many a cold winter’s day.
Morning on Store Bay, Tobago, West Indies.
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Well, no wonder!
Just realized why both of us have been so annoyed by the girls these last few days. Yeah, “schedule disruptions” and “unfamiliar surroundings” might be valid hypotheses, but after tonight’s analysis, my money’s on “mom and dad haven’t been able to get marital in 2012 yet.”
Which is BULLSHIT!
Too much shit to do before trip + lack of...
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Sometimes, I hate my kids.
Your reaction to the above statement will likely indicate whether you have or have had a hand in raising children.
If you thought “ugh, that’s a horrible thing to say!”, my guess is you’ve yet to deal with them in a real, real life manner.
If you nodded your head, chances are that you have felt the same at least once, maybe often.
I observe the same phenomenon in...
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On "Vacationing" With Young Children
They say that the young years go by quickly, and before you know it, your kids will be too old to be cute and adorable. Don’t rush them, they say.
Well, today I say, fuck that. Because those two are getting on our last nerves with the constant whining, the not listening, the all kid things all the time. I’m tired of them. I’m fed up with saying the same things to them all the...
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I lost 2 followers when I said Jesus liked Brady...
*laughing*
Idiots.